Your medicine, your cure:Carlisle's strange static
by Sketchybadwriter
Summary: Carlisle faces a tragedy and begins moving on with his life while reflecting on his children and even opening himself up to new love. Some Violence and lots of sensuality.
1. Disbelief and Comas for a vampire

**Love song for a Vampire**

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the original Twilight Characters.

**_Chapter 1: Put very simply- Loss._**

_It was one of those moments in your life where some one to tell you, what exactly just happened- because you don't trust your own eyes and judgement. Your brain must be lying to you; other people experience these situations, and then you hear about it on the news...you're never actually there._

_Carlisle felt himself heaving in a breath and yet he very still and quiet, for before him were the remains- the **remnants** of hid beloved wife Esme. This is not something he ever thought that he would see. The reality of it all was sinking in as he felt his intestines turn and he began a series of dry heaving. Dear, sweet Esme, she was gone...and yet...where were Alice, Edward, Emmet, Rosalie and Jasper? The scent of Esme's burning remains caught in his nostrils and he gagged once more._

The memory faded away and Carlisle's eyes opened. Although Vampire's don't sleep, Carlisle had been entering what he could only assume were brief comas and reliving the the experience of finding his wife, he most beloved Esme dead, for 7 months now, nearly 8.

P.S. don't ever listen to Edward, vampires indeed do sleep, just not as often as humans. But to most of the hospital it appeared as if Carlisle had dosed off at his desk while he fell into his daily- coma- if you will. Although the entire staff was more than understanding, bringing him meals and offering support nothing helped. And he felt guilty that he couldn't consume the human meals because of its toxity to him.

No, for nearly 7 months Carlisle and his children had been plagued with distraught and pain. Who had done this? It could only have been other vampires...The Carlisle had enemies...but not Esme..his sweet Esme. Despite the fact that he was dead Carlisle found himself wanting to be completely through with life. But he could not deny that over the months he'd gotten much better. Wasn't as depressed, didn't cry hysterically when no one was looking, not like he cared-

"Dr. Cullen?" A voice said, and his gaze went to the door, Markus, the night nurse who'd switched to days "Your son Emmett called and said that he'd be home late, he had some research to do." Markus said leaving, Carlisle nodded and knew that "Research" meant that he was still looking for Esme's killer. Interestingly, Emmett apparently had taken her murder the hardest and searched night and day for ways to find the killer. They tapped into every resource, especially Alice, whom, whenever she tried to get an idea of what happened, she came to a blank.

"Some things, I'm just not meant to see." She told him through regreftul tears.

Carlisle leaned back in his chair violently with his unease and anger about the entire situation and gave a huff, that turned into a sniff, that turned into a full on sob fest, right there with his door open, patients and staff passing, watching a grown man sob into his hands. Maybe he hadn't come as far as he assured everyone. For indeed, in reality, Carlisle was an old man mourning the loss of some one he'd been with for over 80 years.

Someone just closed the door and gave him some privacy, very kind of them. Probably Markus, a very thougful individual. After several moments- ok an hour Carlisle gathered himself up and grabbed the next chart.

"Don't worry about it Carlisle, I'll take it." Amanda Diverson said taking, and insisting that he clock out early. He wasn't sure that he really wanted to go home at all. Carlisle spent much time if perhaps one day, 2 months from now, or possibly, and likely 200 years from suddenly Esme would be gone from him, the pain of it all, and such.

It felt like every one else was in their place. Edward and Bella, married with a child, Roslie and Emmett moving out soon, and he would have to become used to coming home to an empty house...but an empty heart as well?


	2. 5 years pass

**Chapter 2: 5 years pass**

Carlisle stood at the end of the bed, his eyes going from the patient to the chart as he commented on his observations. It was 4:14 in the morning and Carlisle had taken up permanence on his night shift. The first was to avoid suspicion over his not aging and the second was to avoid the gossip and flirtations from the staff. Carlisle couldn't even count how many times female- and that guy Jeremy had asked him out. Valentine's Day was coming up and he was fairly sure that he'd e his usual mass of Valentine's and flowers, for which he was flattered and would write thank you cards to all the women, and that guy Jeremy who sent them. There was virtually no one there, except a few night nurses. The sound of creaking caught his attention as the night orderly pushed a cart in. She wasn't looking at Carlisle; she wasn't really looking anywhere actually as he strolled toward him.

"Dr. Carlisle, is there anything I can get you?" She asks through heavy eyes, her circles almost as dark as her brown eyes. She was slumping and was clearly exhausted, and it had nothing to do with the time.

"No thank you,..um…" he said furrowing his brow looking at her. Where most people would fill the silence with their name she continued to stare at him, exhausted, and weary.

"Macy." She finally stated pointing to her ID. She left and Carlisle couldn't get it out of his head how heavy her eyes were from fatigue. For the last 6 years Macy had been with the clinic; from high school volunteer to night orderly and also Phlebotomist (people who draw blood), and she was more miserable than ever. In fact a few of the nurses and doctors called her "Miserable Macy" behind her back, though Carlisle was more than confidant that she was aware of the moniker. The squeaking of her cart was apparent once more as she left the room.

"Miserable girl, huh?" The now awake patient spoke sleepily looking up at Carlisle, who nodded, his head turning to the empty doorway in which she once stood. He continued with the last few hours of his shift when he deiced to head down to the Cafeteria to finish off some charts when he caught sight of Macy, sitting in the center slowly drinking a caramel coco. He smirked to himself because he always imagined that Macy was the type of girl who sat in the corner and listened to angry girl music- you know, a soundtrack to cut yourself to- or that's what he heard Bella joking about once, those kind of girls that maybe Macy was. Carlisle knew for a fact that she cut, he could usually smell the blood from her cuts that she hid under her clothing. Cutting always made Carlisle sad, it was such an unfortunate way to relieve pain.

"May I sit with you?" Carlisle asked her with a smile, she merely waved her hand and went back to her thoughts, holding her warm coco to her face. It was freezing outside and instead of Forks usual constant rain, they were getting a rare mixture of snow and then rain, which had frozen outside creating 2 inch iced over roads. Many people were walking or could not come into work.

"So how are you?" He asked, barely smiling, she didn't seem to welcome it. In stead of replying she narrowed her eyes at him

"I feel like shit. Are you sitting here because you want to talk to me or because there isn't anyone else here?" She basically demanded looking up at him through gritted teeth, but ever so lightly, her eyes fixed on him. Carlisle was both surprised and slightly put off by her candor. It was a concoction of extreme audacity and integrity mixed in with slight hints of uncouthness and perhaps a dash of evil and bitch as well.

"I assure," he spoke after taking a moment "that even if any of my friends were in here, I still would have found this seat with you." He told, a smile that he couldn't help curving his lips upward. It really wasn't a lie, considering that he didn't have many friends and none of them worked the night shift. She gave a nod while looking to her left blowing on her coco, still deep in thought. Carlisle followed her gaze and realized she was simply dazing off.

"So, what time are you off?" He asked ignoring his charts

"15 minutes ago."

"Well, can I buy you breakfast? I'm off an in hour. Just let me finish these charts and I can even drive you home after." Carlisle smiled

"Promise to use a condom?" She spoke and rolled her eyes and Carlisle blushed

"I didn't plan on…sex was never...."

"It's alright. I'm joking as well." She said taking a sip of her coco. She didn't smile and her tone gave no indication that she was joke. Most of us, human and non human give off subtle hints that we're in jest.

After finishing his charts Carlisle clocked out and they headed for the Diner Blue a few blocks away, it had better food anyway, or so he heard. Carlisle watched Macy finish off two stacks of pancakes, at least a pound of hash browns and 3 glasses of orange juice. He sat stunned and watched in awe.

"Aren't you going to eat?" She asked

"No, I don't eat breakfast, it upsets my stomach." He lied, partly, even in his usual diet he wasn't much of a breakfast drinker. They made very casual talk and rather quickly Carlisle realized that Macy certainly kept people at arms length, and then some. She was a hard shell to crack and he still couldn't figure out why he wanted to make an omelet so bad. When he heard Edward speak of Bella's smell and his wanting her blood, he understood, humans have a tendency to lure vampires in with that lush blood lust smell. But as for her smell, it was Wind Song perfume that had slightly faded from the day before and the very faint scent of red cherry shea butter body crème. And as for her blood, zero blood lust when it came to her, she just genuinely intrigued him. She thanked him graciously for breakfast and shook his hand, and told him that she could walk from there.

Standing at his car, just before getting in, Carlisle caught a last glimpse of her, walking gingerly down the road, cautious of the ice, the fir trees gently tapping each other in the gentle breeze.


	3. Macy

**CHAPTER 3: MACY**

"Don't you EVER compare your worth to me." She hissed pointing her long finger in Macy's face, asserting once more, ever since Macy was a child, that she was better. Though only 5'1 and 106 pounds she finished off the string of threats with a dead leg that brought Macy to the floor and she watched her mothers feet angrily exit the room. Macy was 22 years old now and due to financial struggle had to move back home and she'd been on medication for it ever since.

The economy was terrible as most people knew and the situation wasn't any different in Forks. Macy had been living with her boyfriend Bran when he ran off with her sister. Macy was heart broken. Some guy she liked fucking her sister wasn't anything she wasn't used to. She could only never get used to her mother passing over her feelings.

"Pfft!" Beth, her mother said "Bran is going to be a doctor someday, and your sister will be amazing at anything. She deserves him, not you." Beth explained to Macy, while she cared for some of her children better than others. Macy remembered the time when she was 11 when her mother had explained in great detail that she "invested in the children that mattered".

But once again Macy found herself running up the stairs and locking the door, peeling her shirt off over her head and grabbing the cuticle clippers as she dragged them all across her breasts and upper arms, blood running down her abdomen. She exhaled as she was comforted by the physical pain that intercepted anything she felt inside and her eyes went to the medication bottle that was on the side of the bed stand, the words "Abilify". It was a psychotrophet drug used for Schizophrenia, but Macy took it to calm her extreme aggression. She was fairly certain that she was going to kill her mother at some point.

Her mother had coming looking for her, to yell at, to blame. One time, Macy's little brother had knocked over some milk and her mother screamed her name and her brother had to remind her that Macy wasn't home.

Macy glanced at the clock and realized she'd better get going; she'd be late for work. The snow was just falling as she chained her bike up at work and walked inside tracking some slush. Most people in Forks were thrilled that it wasn't going to be a rainy Christmas, but Macy knew that it meant she had to ride her bike in the rain.

"Good evening Dr. Cullen." She said looking over her shoulder and watched him stop dead in his tracks, his nostrils seemed to flair and he looked down as if to be sick and then exited quite quickly. Startled and confused Macy's first attempt was to follow him and ask what the fuck his problem was.

As for Carlisle the second he'd walked into the lounge and watched her close her locker and he could smell her blood. Fresh and warm from deep wounds on her chest and arms, she didn't realize it but the blood had made tiny lines on her scrubs and had lightly soaked them, they had definitely stained her bra. Carlisle had run to the bathroom to fake sickness, claiming it was nerves.

When he apologized to Macy, she seemed relieved and thankful. They had their usual breakfast and Carlisle chatted her up until their shift was over, and they found themselves standing before the sliding doors with 2 feet of snow in front of them.

"Ride home?" Carlisle offered

"No, I have a bike." Macy told swinging her helmet in the direction of her nearly buried bike. Smiling to himself Carlisle waved her goodbye and drove off into the early morning darkness.

After a 5 mile trek through the freezing snow, Macy reached home and peeled her soaked and frozen clothes from her body she cuddled into bed and felt sleep coming over her.

"MACY!" Came the incredibly high shriek of her mother, it was like crows prolonged cawing. Her eyes went to the clock and saw that she'd only been asleep for a few hours.

"LOOK AT THIS ROOM!" Her mother said picking up a stool and throwing it on the bed, it landed on Macy's upper arm

"Look at this mess!" She shrieked once more, Macy looked at the room, a small pile of clean clothes on the floor "Everyone tells me to just kick you out and I LET YOU STAY! You're giving me a nervous breakdown Macy!" she shrieked and slammed the door so that the whole house shook.

It was moments like these that Macy was so sure she was going to commit suicide.

Her eyes opened, she sat up and dressed in silence. Casually walking to the garage Macy heard a car pull up, she peaked her head outside to see Carlisle smiling and shaking her mother's hand.

"Carlisle, what are you doing here?" She asked and he smiled at her

"Well, the snow was so thick; I thought I'd drive you. I called your mom." He said, looking to her mother, she shrugged and gave a very smug smile

"I told her. She was going to ride her bike anyway." Beth said, giving a "I win" smile to Macy. The look on Macy's face startled Carlisle intensely, it was evident she had not been told and indeed, was thinking of seriously hurting Beth.

"Well," Carlisle said "c'mon Macy." He smiled to Beth watching Macy walk forward, still wearing her helmet, and then remembering to take it off. She got into the car and they drove off she was completely silent and Carlisle could actually feel the rage radiating off of her.


	4. They taste funny

**CHAPTER 4: They taste funny**

_They taste funny_

Carlisle said nothing as he glanced over his shoulder to the empty seat across from Macy, her back her him, her head bowed. Michael Hensen, a fellow doctor was complaining about his wife as usual and as usual didn't know when to be be quiet.

"Where are you sitting?" Mike asked headed to the table with the other doctors

"Uh," Carlisle spoke hastily looking at the lonesome Macy "with a friend, I'll catch you later." He waved and Mike nodded, he took a seat across from Macy who bulled out her smokin' buds headphones. She glances at the table of doctors looking over and then at Carlisle, who was smiling a closed mouth smile.

"Hi," He waved slightly, and then she did it, she smiled. Carlisle wondered if she even had teeth. But there it was, a smile. They began to laugh outloud and Carlisle could feel the eyes of the others on his back, watching him, but they continued to laugh and continued their meal.

"It's creeping me out that you never eat." Macy mentioned peeling an orange.

"It's personal for me. I don't like people seeing me eat." he told getting a bit serious

"Do you have an eating disorder?" she asked

"Sort of. But lets not dwell. Plus I don't like anything from the cafeteria here, they all taste funny." His tone let her know that the subject was done.

"Carlisle, what are you afraid of?" She asked after a moment of silence, he paused and didn't follow it with a "what?" but simply answered

"Being alone." and didn't end it with 'again'.

"I'm afraid of the Ocean. IT HORROFIES ME." She stated looking down

"All water or just the ocean?" he asked quietly

"Water in general. But rain and the shower don't bug me much anymore. Yesterday my mother made me take a trip with her to the ocean, to watch the car. And even though it was 100 yards, it still felt like it was coming for me." She told with a shiver. She often when the nightmare would end, when she would have enough to move and wouldn't have to come home like last night,

Her mother had went through her room and literally thrown out half of her things. It was horrible. Rearranged the entire bedroom. Threw out her textbooks, she'd been taking classes at the community college. Jesus. Dark as it was, Macy knew that physically she could kill her mother, and often thought about it. Macy put a great deal of thought into killing her actually, and she didn't feel too bad about it either.

Not even bothering to take off her bra Macy jumped into bed and closed her eyes, the sound of her mothers manic and hysterical screams downstairs fading away. Saturday and Sunday were her days off and now with Christmas approaching she'd spent them buying gifts for her siblings, 2 friends and she just got her mom a cashmere cardigan. But she found her mind wandering to Carlisle. She couldn't figure out what to get him, what do you buy a doctor?

She passed over colognes and shirts and felt exhausted. The next day when she came back she asked someone who worked at the store, desperately trying to figure out what to get him. It had to be amazing. She left slightly satisified and with a hole in her wallet, but she was expecting spending a lot anyway.

It was a week before Christmas, Macy and Carlisle had been spending a considerable amount of time together and now everyone at the hospital had been talking. How does an orderly end up with a doctor? When Carlisle invited her to his house for Christmas she was even more surprised when Carlisle invited her family over for Christmas, Macy felt her heart jump into her throat.

"I think, we're staying home." She breathed heavily fighting back the tears. Her mother couldn't get close to Carlisle and ruin everything for Macy, not this time...The parasite would not find a new host. She looked at Carlisle and he knew that something was wrong but he did not press her for the details.

"Well, Edward, Bella, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett are all very eager to meet you, so maybe if you could just drop by..." he suggested looking away, another intense silence

"Ok. Well, I suppose I can share one of your gifts with everyone." She commented and he furrowed his eyebrows confused, his eyes wanting an answer.

"Do you have a piano?" was all she asked.


	5. Hearing that Harmony

Disclaimer: I do not own "Simple Love" by Alison Krauss and Union Station

**Chapter 5: Hearing that Harmony**

In silence Carlisle drove, Macy's irritation and fierce anger radiating off of her like the heat from the sun. This was no way to introduce her to his family. About a mile from the house Carlisle pulled the car over and for a moment Macy's faced flashed fear. He didn't blame her; the perverse situation in films that follows a car being pulled over in the middle of nowhere is both true and terrible. He exhaled heavily and then looked at her.

"Get out of the car," he said, Macy looked completely puzzled. He didn't repeat himself as he opened his door and as he reached the front he heard Macy's door open.

"What are we doing?" She asked, the sound of a car door slamming hard. Carlisle turned to face her, barely a foot between them.

"Cooling you off." He said, Macy did not deny her angry, but huffed and crossed her arms

"I'm sorry." She apologized looking downward, "It's just that…I'm the only one who sees my mother for what she is, and it kills me that she gets away with it." She said looking at him. Carlisle was neither angry nor stressed, but very calm. Calm until from behind Macy a swift bitter breeze came up over her shoulder and then into Carlisle face, washing it with her perfume, it was intoxicating.

"I have an idea." Carlisle smiled still sensing the anger on Macy; he outstretched his arms and bent his knees

"Squats, Carlisle?" She laughed looking around, "Your idea of Romance?" Macy smiled watching him smile back as he continued, catching the moon above them, pregnant with shine. Everything around them was white and illuminated them. Rolling her eyes reluctantly she joined in.

After a few moments they broke into controllable laughter ("Simple Love" begins playing by Alison Krauss and Union Station) and Macy rushed forward toward Carlisle and felt his arms wrap around her. Laughing, Carlisle rocked them both back and forth kissing her on the head. Macy looked up, brown eyes that seemed to gaze right into his soul. His lips tingled and wanted nothing more than to be pressed against hers. Tasting the venom pooling in his mouth Carlisle swallowed and smiled.

"They're probably wondering where we are." He smiled slowly releasing his arms from around Macy, who looked rejected, hurt and saddened.

Upon arrival Macy was shocked to see Bella Swan with Edward Cullen. She'd attended school with them and remembered all the jazz when they started dating but never paid attention to it again. She soon found out that they were indeed married now and the small girl by them was indeed their daughter.

Bella and Edward hadn't aged a day, neither had Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper nor Alice. Speaking of Alice, she had kept giving Macy a strange look the entire night, half saddened half amused; it had then occurred to Macy how strange it was that Esme was gone and now she was there, or something.

Throughout the evening things eased and the mingling began.

"So, Macy, what do you do?" Alice asked with a smile, Rosalie clenched her jaw and made it evident she was listening,

"Oh, I'm a night orderly and a phlebotomist." She told taking a sip of her drink

Alice nodded "You draw blood?" Rosalie looked incredibly amused, she and Emmett laughed to themselves.

"Yeah."

"Some people are made woozy by blood. That's cool you're not." Emmett added looking at his drink he hadn't touched

"Yeah, I'm fascinated by it. I think it's amazing and beautiful. What it does for the body, how it can nourish or destroy it." Macy told, watching Emmett, Alice and Rosalie all seemed to swallow hard. Macy felt herself jump slightly at what could only be Carlisle's hand on her shoulder.


	6. Status

Disclaimer: lyrics from , also you can find a really nice version of the song below if you want to add to the mood at youtube. Type in /watch?v=YYHP_MKm2ZI

_**Chapter 6: Status**_

Macy had jumped slightly at the touch of Carlisle's hand on her shoulder; she turned and met his gaze.

"What were you saying, earlier about a piano?" He asked, watching Macy blush a bit, his eyes then fell on Emmett who was smiling wide

"Oh yeah, where do you keep your piano?" She asked, Carlisle smiled.

As the entire family filed into the music room, Macy saw that there stood a black, grand piano and she felt herself become nervous. As she approached it she heard a voice,

"Is this something you penned for Carlisle?" Rosalie asked, nearly mockingly. Macy, turned bright red; this blushing concept was new to her, she hadn't blushed in years. Normally she was the outgoing, aggressive type, except around Carlisle, and now his family.

After Rosalie spoke she acquired some nasty glances, mainly from Edward who always seemed resentful of her behavior. The cold keys beneath Macy's fingers, she cleared her throat and spoke.

"No, this is a cover of _Be Quiet and Drive _by The Deftones." Macy told, they all got comfy in their seats and Macy stared down at the piano, her fingers pressing down. Music was filling the room, the opening of the slow ballad as it soon blossomed into full on intensity. Although she was playing fast, no one could deny that the song was intense and although there weren't any lyrics, Macy was hearing the song in her head.

Eyes on Macy, Edward leaned in and began to sing them quietly to Carlisle.

_This town dont feel mine  
I'm fast to get away-FAR[x3]  
And I dont care[x3]_

_I dressed you in her clothes  
Now drive me far - away, away, away_

_It feels good to know your mine  
Now drive me far - away, away, away  
FAR away  
I dont care where just FAR - away_

_FAR - away  
And I dont care where just FAR - away_

As the song came to a close Carlisle wiped a tear from his face and felt him-self clapping. Macy gently pushed down on the last key and heard the echo of hands hitting each other, clapping. It had been some time since she'd heard the noise, that familiar static that was so foreign. No one ever approved of what she did. She looked over her shoulder and found Carlisle and her chest was warm, tonight she would tell him. Ask him what they were? Dating? Certainly not incredibly close friends…were they friends? As she thought this she noticed Edward looking at her, as if he knew what she was thinking, and it frightened her for a moment, at that moment his gaze broke from her. After a moment of slight embarrassment, Macy took a bow and headed back into the living room.

It was already 11:29 and Macy was feeling the effects of the alcohol she'd been drinking and the sleep she hadn't gotten lately.

"I'll take Macy home." Bella offered walking her out to the car, tired and tipsy, Macy didn't get a chance to argue and quietly, mulling over her thoughts and drunkenly took Bella's hand and walked out to the car.

Bella kept her eyes on the road and watched Macy.

"So, you and Carlisle huh?" She spoke, pursing her lips. Macy said nothing and looked out the window, apparently she wasn't even sure, or she just didn't even feel like talking about it. Bella could certainly relate. Macy seemed to have fallen asleep

Carlisle had ever intention of heading to his room to be away from Edward and alone with his thoughts.

"So, do you like her as well?" Edward asked before Carlisle could make his exit. He officially knew one thing now; he was able to keep Edward out of his head. He turned looking at his children.

"This isn't an ambush." Alice soothed as she pulled on her finger nervously, but Carlisle stood facing his 5 children, and felt outnumbered for the first time in his life.

"I know," he breathed sitting down, with his children

"It's just that, there hasn't been anyone since, mom- Esme." Alice corrected, shaking her head

"Almost 6 years." He breathed,

"What exactly is Macy to you?" Edward cocked his head and asked, the question was not new to Carlisle, and he'd been asking himself that for months. Carlisle collected himself and looked to his left,

"It's personal Edward." Was all Carlisle spoke

"We don't want to bombard. It's only that who is important to you is important to us." Alice assured, taking Jasper's hand

"I know Alice; it's only that it's a difficult place for me right now, us all. We all miss Esme." He said, and for the first time in nearly 6 years, he didn't break down when he spoke her name to his children.


	7. Nearly New Years

**Chapter 7: NEARLY NEW YEARS**

Macy shifted uncomfortably and sighed/shivered. Since her sister was back from college she was now sleeping in the tiny room that also held the computer, it was small than an 8x10. Her mother had made her move all of her possessions down to the basement, and Macy had discovered in the course of a day that there were indeed mice and rats down there, and had chewed through her boxes and eaten through her clothes, some of them. Macy bit down on her thumb as Carlisle's image came to mind. No surprise there, he never was far from her thoughts in any case and thus her mind often wondered to him and their plight.

Carlisle was one tough egg to crack, and this ring around the rosy of relationship wonderings had grown tiring to her. They were either on the verge of becoming very good friends, or on the threshold of something that could be quite passionate. Honestly, Macy had no interest of just being his friend. Although Macy wasn't a virgin, she was still inexperienced in the whole relationship aspect of life. When came to relationships Macy had no idea how to let people in, share her feelings and as a result many relationships had failed. Interestingly enough Macy was a good and trusted, but she was always stuck being the good friend while people repeatedly fucked her over.

Somehow she got the idea that Carlisle didn't get screwed over a lot. He didn't have many friends anyway. She glanced at the clock she'd plugged into the wall, 5:57 am, 30 degrees in the room. She pulled the covered closer to her body, but they brought no comfort and the idea of relief was a joke. Something had to change, but how? It was amazing to Macy how depressed one can get. They say that when you hit rock bottom there's no where else to go except up, but Macy had a tendency to dig, if not claw her way deeper and deeper until the light had become so far away and foreign she swore that she'd imagined that such a thing had ever existed.

She exhaled sharply; she hadn't slept all night again. Some people get exhausted when they don't sleep, but Macy merely became angry and hostile. Carlisle had invited her to lunch in his office as usual and she knew that she'd accept and again, they speak about their day and what not. But Macy was going to ask him about his life, his parents. It had been months but she was going to be honest, she liked him and wanted something more. Of course the entire thing would be awkward as FUCK but it was a risk she was willing to take.

A beep went off. Time for her insulin.

**EDWARD**

There was a considerable amount of snowfall outside, bearing in mind that Forks, was almost always rainy. They hadn't seen snow in some time and now it was coming down with a vengeance. He looked out the window watching Bella and Nessie building snowmen. Earlier Bella had brought up Macy, how she remembered seeing her around school, and Edward noted that Macy was one of the few kids who didn't give a tap-dancing fuck about him or the entire Cullen family. Macy wasn't a loner, she certainly had her friends, but she also certainly didn't give a flying fuck about what people thought. He and Bella were both familiar with her younger sister, who, although a freshman their junior year, had made several overly sexual passes at Edward, and didn't mind doing so for all to see. Macy was cool in the sense that she really didn't know it, and he remembered having cooking class with her and she never gave him a second thought. Instead Macy mourned over the fact that she had to go home soon and he knew that it killed her inside. More than ever he regretted not saying something to a teacher about the abusive situation.

**CLINIC**

"Are you seeing the snow outside?" Carlisle commented glancing out the window as he and Macy walked to his office, her lunch in hand as they walked.

"Don't know how I could miss it Carlisle." She spoke, and felt his hand gently rest on her back and her knees shook a bit. They sat down to lunch and as usual Macy ate while Carlisle spoke. Macy had gotten used to the fact that Carlisle wasn't big on food. Macy swallowed her food, set her fork down, took a drink, wiped her mouth and spoke,

"Carlisle," she said, he looked into her eyes as she felt her lips move, "will you go out with me." Was all that came out; what happened to her sophisticated speech about two adults who get along? What happened to her well planned touch of his hand? Why was he just looking at her? Macy felt her eyes widen, with slight regret.

Carlisle sat a bit stunned and suddenly answered

"Absolutely." without thinking, WHAT? Today was when he was going to tell her that they shouldn't hang out so much because it would be better for her. Today he was going to tell her that it was because of how much he liked her that it was best for her to stay away. And now here they sat, in a state of astonished happiness and intense confusion. For the first time in Macy's and a long time in Carlisle's, their hearts had silenced their minds and spoken for them.


	8. Surrender

**The Surrender**

Carlisle and Macy sat across from each other, silent. Cue the Annie Lennox song that allows the audience to know that all is alright and that the two are merely just taking a moment to realizations that they are officially seeing each other. But weren't they kind of anyway? Macy shifted in her seat, her features clearly expressing the same perplexed wonder that Carlisle was indeed putting on display as well. She tilted her head to the left and wanted to speak but her lip nearly quivered. The silence wasn't awkward, or intense and crushing. On the contrary it felt as if for the first time that fresh air was passing between them and they both inhaled, breathing easier than they ever had. Macy twitched at the slight feeling of Carlisle's cold hand, her head was still tilted while Carlisle's followed as well, equally stunned as his body and mind took a backseat and his heart directed his hand to take Macy's hand, which he gently squeeze. And then, with a thud, his heart seemed to say,

_I've brought you this far, _

Carlisle rose and walked around his desk, his hand still in hers and looked down at her, wrapping his arms around her upper back. Macy seemed to follow suit and placed her hand on his lower back, pulling him closer, their bodies were now officially touching. Due to the height difference Macy chest was pressed against Carlisle's abdomen and his hips were at her bellybutton. Macy's head was bent back as she looked all the way up at Carlisle, who was peering right back down at her. Everything else seemed to come naturally when Macy rose to her tip toes and he leaned down kissing her lips. First it was just a peck, then another peck and finally neither of them parted for some time. He pulled her a little tighter and Macy was surprised by his strength and two gave a squeeze, but jumped slightly when the door opened and few nurses stood a little shocked.

"Yes?" Carlisle asked looked at him, clearly agitated that they hadn't knocked.

"Just some charts," Agnes told waving the charts, Maria and Emily- two nurses 25 were glaring at Macy vehemently. Carlisle released his grip from Macy and closed the door, the harsh squeaks from Maria and Emily's shoes on the floor fading. Carlisle stood with his back to the door and glanced at Macy and then smiled. He felt venom pool in his mouth as he walked toward her, she leaned in for another kiss and he quickly thwarted this by placing his face in her neck and nibbling on her earlobe. Macy let out a moan pleasure and squeezed his shoulders, laying some light kisses on his jaw line.

Pausing Carlisle looked at her,

"I have to get back to work." He told, slightly out of breath. He was consumed by many things right now, but the overwhelming delight of skin hunger had taken a hold. _Skin Hunger- the overwhelming need to be touched or feel the touch of another. _

Well that was Carlisle's definition. Macy nodded and he squeezed her forearm gently, letting her know that she'd be in his thoughts as she grabbed her lunch and exited. Macy jumped on her bike and she rode home, the slush from the street jumped up soaking her scrubs, and she didn't care at all. She laughed out loud and a tear fell from her eye as happiness bubbled warmly from her stomach and upward into her chest, forcing another happy laugh out of her throat. She pulled her bike over and wiped her tears, she didn't want her mother to see her crying, and she had her reasons. Putting her bike in the garage she walked into the house removing her wet shoes, the warmth hitting her face and the smell of whatever was cooking. Her mother turned around

"I only made enough for your sister and brother and I." Beth spoke,

"Ok." Macy told not caring

"I thought you weren't coming home until tonight." Beth lied, turning back to the meal

Macy had settled into the computer room removing her wet scrubs and put on some thermals, and pulling the covers tightly around her and shivered, but it wasn't due to the cold.

**EVENING**

The alarm clock had stirred Macy considerably. She didn't remember what she dreamt; only that it was soothing. She sat up and thought for a moment but again, nothing came to mind. She'd fallen asleep with her bra on and headed downstairs

"Nice flowers," she commented to the fresh flowers on the table, her mother mumbled "yes," and continued watching TV.

Macy walked over the fridge when the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it." Beth hissed at Macy, who merely held her hands up, the voice, it was Carlisle.

"Did you like the flowers?" he smiled, but Macy's blank face let him know that she had no idea what he was talking about. Beth smiled one of her famous smiles of "I win" that Carlisle had become accustomed to.

"Well then, maybe these will suffice." He spoke handing red roses to Macy

"Wait Carlisle, I'll be right down."

"Uh, where are you going to put those?" Beth asked coldly, Macy said nothing and ran up the stairs. When she came down she was dressed for the snow and still carried the roses and closed the door behind her.

"What are you planning?" Carlisle asked, without further notice Macy had ripped off the petals of the rose and threw them up into the air above Carlisle, intermingling with the snow Carlisle looked upward and watched them fall slowly around him, a flash appeared and he looked forward when he saw that Macy had snapped a picture. He reached out his long arm and touched her face, the distant sound of a car passing by. Macy nuzzled his hand and stepped in closer.

"I can't ever seem to be close enough to you." Was all she whispered burying her face in his chest.

They headed back to his place where he'd made dinner for her.

"I'm just going to hop in the shower." He commented as he went upstairs. Macy wondered if it was an invitation as she ate.


	9. Rosalie and Valentines

NOTE: I was listening to the song "I love you" by Sarah McLachlan for "Valentine" as I wrote it, you can find it on youtube.

_**February**_

Tapping his finger impatiently Carlisle glanced at the calendar. Valentine's Day was only a few days away and he couldn't have been more excited. Things with Macy had been going very smooth; they'd been sharing experiences, hopes, aspirations. Carlisle hadn't been this happy in years; everyone around the clinic noticed such the change in his behavior, Carlisle seemed so happy, and as for Macy?

No one had attached _miserable_ to her name for some time. But as happy as Macy was, that dark cloud known as her mother Beth always lingered nearby to block out the sun when things got too bright for Macy. As for sex Macy found herself often wondering what Carlisle looked like naked and in her head he had the perfect back and ass. She shook her head slightly when she caught sight of Rosalie walking toward her, her usual glare and twisted mouth ever present.

"Good afternoon Rosalie." Macy told staring her straight in the eyes

"Where is Carlisle?" Rosalie asked, twisting her mouth

"He's with a patient." Was all Macy replied, looking back down at a chart she was cleaning

"Go and tell him I am waiting." Rosalie nearly snapped, Macy had just gone to turn and get him when she felt herself face Rosalie

"Ask me nicely, Rosalie." She demanded, Rosalie smiled slightly, intrigued by Macy's balls

"PLEASE, tell him I am here." She said, Macy nodded and went to get him. Rosalie smiled to herself, she was very fond of Macy, but it was still painful that even after 7 years that Esme was gone. But Carlisle appeared happier than ever and things seemed to flow with him lately. Emmett had been discussing earlier whether or not Carlisle would wait a bit longer before telling Macy about his situation.

The summer was coming, and what was he going to tell Macy? That he had to go away for a few months, please don't question this? Rosalie didn't smile when she saw Carlisle, but he was all grins as he walked around the corner. There was a spring in his step, a shimmer in his eye, any negative thought that Rosalie had previous reflected on about Macy quickly dispersed in her mind.

Although enjoying a blossoming relationship Macy was still having many personal setbacks. Her mother was coming at her with full force, attacking her verbally and sometimes physically. When Macy walked in the door that night Beth had come stomping at Macy screaming at the top of her lungs, that familiar high pitched screech, accusing Macy of breaking her sisters DVD player.

"What are you talking about?" Macy asked wide eyed and bewildered, through shrieks and tears Beth demanded

"What did you do to it? You broke her DVD player!"

"No, last night I went to turn on the TV and it wouldn't turn on. She told me that she unplugged it for her laptop. Maybe you should ask her." Macy told trying to be as calm as possible; her mother swung her arm and hit Macy as hard as she could in the side of the head. Macy's teeth clunked together.

"BACK OFF!" Macy yelled putting her hands up. Despite that her mother was a small women and Macy could easily decimate her, she wasn't about to hit someone.

"Hey hey mother fucker don't walk away from me." Beth spoke through clenched teeth and kneed Macy in the groin, she hit the floor.

"Never mind Mom, I got the TV and DVD player to work again." Macy's sister called from the top of the stairs, Beth looked in the direction of Macy's sister's voice and simply and calmly walked away. Macy gathered herself up, and walked to the bathroom, for a hot shower.

Rosalie frowned as she watched through the front window swallowed up by the blackness outside.

**_ROSALIE_**

Although she was tempted to do otherwise, Rosalie kept the incident to herself. She knew that both Carlisle definitely and Macy probably, would not condone Rosalie becoming a personal voyeur into her life. Over the next few weeks, Rosalie wondered if Macy ever spoke of things that went on between her and her mother or if maybe Carlisle knew from the bruises on her body.

It was now Valentine's Day and Carlisle had taken the night off to spend with Macy. Bella and Edward were headed off while Rosalie and Emmett had volunteered to watch Reneesme, Alice and Jasper were off as well. Even though they hadn't really spoken or hung out, Rosalie felt particularly close to Macy. Some unspoken bond between them or so Rosalie felt. It's not like she was alone, really, she had Emmett and their undying love; but Rosalie had never gotten along with other girls that well. Normally because they were so afraid of her, but Macy had held a middle finger to that fear and said "fuck you", very firmly, something Rosalie respected.

**_VALENTINE_**

Smiling and satisfied, Carlisle showed off the item and then placed it in the box.

"Big spender much?" Emmett teased flashing Carlisle a grin

"I'm sure she'll love it." Alice reassured

"She'll love it." Edward said tightening his grip around Bella whom rested her head on his chest. Carlisle looked down at the velvet box once more with more confidence and headed out the door. When he arrived at her house Carlisle found that Macy was in a simple white cotton dress. He handed her a Chrysanthemum (her birth flower) and took her arm. They'd had to cancel on Valentine's Day because of work, so here they were a few days later, when they'd lucked out because all the restaurants were filled.

"So, what's the big surprise?" Macy asked buckling her seat, glancing back at the trunk which contained their suitcases

"Seattle." He grinned

"OH MY GOSH!" Macy erupted "But, wait, how long will that take?" She asked as Carlisle started the car and began driving

"From the Hospital it's 137.62 miles, so approximately 3 hours and 35 minutes."

"How long have you been planning this?" She asked watching the trees whirl past them

"I've wanted us to get away for some time, but I just recently found the perfect place." He told smiling, satisfied.

They pulled up to a bed and breakfast; it was exactly Macy's style. Instead of the snow in Forks they were surrounded by rain. Apparently Forks and Seattle had traded weather for a while. Macy stretched hearing Carlisle set down their bags, which he had insisted on. The door gently closed behind him and Macy closed her eyes. There was no waiting now. She could feel him behind her, resting his hands on her shoulders and then sitting down on the bed in front of her. Sitting up straight, Carlisle was still just as tall. Macy inched forward, Carlisle closed his eyes and exhaled, feeling Macy's hot breath on his face.


	10. The Left off

**The Left off **

Macy's entire face was hot as she inched closer, her lips barely touching Carlisle's when he pushed them forward and kissed her. Another and another as she ended up in his lap, coats and scarves peeling away, Carlisle stood in front of her and unbuttoned his shirt and he stared down at her as her hands went over his bare shoulders, porcelain white and cold to the touch.

Shoes were kicked aside Macy stood against Carlisle's naked body kissing his chest as he unzipped her dress and it fell around her feet; Macy stood in a slip and Carlisle reached her arms out gently touching her shoulders pushing her slip and bra straps down following her downward as her cotton underwear fell to her feet. As they kissed Macy sat down scooting backward onto the bed as Carlisle climbed above; her breasts burned against his chest, the first feeling of penetration and that connecting kiss afterward….

_**CARLISLE**_

The entire evening had past so quickly, the light from outside the window was showing slightly on Macy's face, and Carlisle couldn't resist touching her cheek and following downward for a moment. Macy was a quiet sleeper but breathed heavily as her chest moved up and down, Carlisle felt a slight pang of guilt, and he regretted never seeing Esme sleep, but every moment with Esme was beautiful and wonderful. He often wondered if she was with him in spirit and comfort; did Esme go to Heaven? She deserved Heaven, more than anyone he knew. Would Esme have liked Macy? Could they have gotten along? Macy flinched and opened her eyes, Carlisle bent down and kissed her lips, they were salty and her hair was messy, but beautiful.

"I have something for you." Carlisle whispered taking in her perfume

"I imagine you do." She smiled kissing him, laughing Carlisle reached backward and pulled out the velvet box handing it to Macy. Her heart thudded a bit and jumped as she opened it. It was silver bracelet that read "MACY". She began shaking her head

"Carlisle, you shouldn't have, I can't afford to get you anything." She said with a frown "It's ok." He whispered kissing her lips, taking the box and the chain and setting them on the nightstand, a fervent rhythm was in motion underneath the sheets.

Carlisle either made love in a very quiet type of anger or extremely passionately. Macy was having a hard time distinguishing between the two, but knew that clearly she enjoyed and deeply treasured these moments. Carlisle wasn't obsessed with rubbing her breasts like most guys, instead he connected with her throat breathing, facial nudging and kissing. Constantly Carlisle would bury his face in Macy's neck, kissing her lips and whispering to her.

Of all the things that Carlisle loved about Macy it was her move forward attitude with life, even though she'd had a rough one. She looked much older than she was and it was apparent in her facial lines. Carlisle stood up and stretched, dressing by the side of the bed, though right now he was still naked, he decided against a shower. Macy appeared to be enjoying herself as well, she went down the street to get some lunch and that evening they were attending the Symphony Orchestra that evening.

**EVENING **

Macy resentfully looked at herself in the mirror. Her arms were too chubby, she had a pooch in the gut, and her complexion seemed off. She sighed as she put her hands over her face.

"Don't sweat it," was all she heard, Carlisle was leaning against the door frame smiling.

"Yeah you turn heads no matter where you go." Macy nearly sneered, but playfully. Carlisle only took her hand as they left.

The concert hall was booming and alive with men and women dressed beautiful heading in. Many women did double takes as Carlisle held Macy's shaking hand.

Macy couldn't have felt more out of place. Beautiful, skinny, tall, perfect skinned women wearing pearls were gasping as Carlisle walked passed, moving gracefully as he did so. One woman actually glanced quite cruelly at her husband and than back to Carlisle, clearly unsatisfied with the comparison.

As they took their seats which were balcony, and thus in direct view of the stage Macy felt guilty wondering how much he must have spent. Again, women were whispering from below signaling their friends to look up at the magnificent man above them. The lights dimmed as did the whispers and orchestra came out. Macy felt a little off, she didn't know who they were, except that she'd heard the term "renowned all over the entire earth", when referencing to them. Macy shifted in her seat and felt Carlisle's eyes on her, his hand on her knee as the violins and cellos began to cry in ecstasy.

"I'd love nothing more than to dance with you right now." Carlisle whispered, brushing her hair behind her ear and kissing her neck. She wasn't wearing any perfume and her natural scent was swirling up into him and his mouth filled with venom. He tightened his grip on her neck and Macy moaned slightly; Carlisle was losing control, for the first time in god knows how long and how he feared that he couldn't contain himself.

"Carlisle, you're hurting me." Macy told gently, fear and want were pulsing through him so hard right now. He let go so forcefully that it pushed Macy back a bit, as Carlisle headed to the door. So many things were going through his mind, mainly Macy's well being. She called his name following fervently behind him. In the deserted corridor he turned to her and with reluctant words uttered,

"Macy, it's over."


	11. The Princess and the agony

**The Princess and the Pain**

With wide eyes and a hard halt Macy took in the words that went through her like a cold chill.

"What? How?" She asked looking around in alarm and disbelief

"I can't anymore Macy. It's too dangerous for you. I- I'm not what you think I am." Carlisle told looking away

"Then what are you Carlisle? Is this really happening? Only moments ago we were completely different people. Truly am I awake?" Macy pleaded, Carlisle merely nodded as an answer. Instead of bursting into tears like he expected, Macy's features became quite twisted and demonic and she walked toward him.

"If you're going to end this then you look me in the face, you look at my face!" She demanded grabbing his chin; he stared far down into her eyes.

"It's over Macy." He said calmly, far to consumed by his emotions Carlisle couldn't even sense that Rosalie was gently hidden away watching intently. With the words Macy had backed up and let out soft grunt of disbelief as she frantically looked around, running her hands through her hair, like a princess who'd discovered the horrors of heartbreak and deception.

"Macy, don't-"Carlisle had tried to console her but she back away, denying him her touch.

"NO." She warned pointing a finger; her voice was raspy with rage, betrayal and heartache. Her eyes still on his Macy handed him the diamond and gold bracelet he'd given to her. Carlisle closed his eyes as tears fell trickled down his face

"Take it!" Macy ordered and the violins and cellos from the concert hall crescendo all around them.

"I won't." Carlisle whispered looking at her; a tear fell from Rosalie's eyes as she watched Macy forcefully yank Carlisle's arm toward her thrusting the bracelet into his hands, she began to walk away and then hissed very coldly

"And don't worry Carlisle, I'll quit so you don't have to." And Macy turned walking away; the princess had handed over her crown and was going on her way, never looking back. Carlisle stood lonely in the corridor, gazing down at the bracelet. Rosalie quickly made an exit, and began to follow Macy. She arrived at the bed and breakfast and quickly packed her things, leaving a whole 3 minutes before Carlisle arrived. Rosalie followed Macy to the train station as she also boarded the train, a few seats behind Macy, who in her evening gown cried hysterically. A princess in the night crying for her lost knight, Rosalie deeply debated comforting Macy, but she had the feeling that Macy was an alone person when it came to emotions. Carlisle had quickly packed, paid and went on his way. He drove through the night banging on the steering wheel with such force that he broke it, crying harder than ever. Carlisle hated himself for what he'd done, but all he could think of was how much better it would be for Macy. She definitely didn't want to live forever and he didn't want the Vulturi to murder her. Hours later when he pulled into the driveway he walked toward his room and everything went black, the comas, they were back.

**LIFE**

Life was officially a sick fucking joke. Macy had succumbed to a kind of sick apathy that now consumed her life, which was becoming darker and more perverse with each passing day. Rosalie watched from the April darkness as the sun dipped below the horizon moving from the twilight on the sky to darkness. It was incredibly dry for Forks and the scent of Chimney smoke was in the air, Rosalie caught a familiar scent from the tree and looked down, catching the confused features of Emmett who raised his shoulders in the air signifying "what the fuck are you doing?" to his wife.

"What are you doing?" Emmett asked

"Watching Macy," Rosalie whispered back, Emmett smiled

"Oh, you are sick. You have officially crossed the line." He told holding his hands up

"SHH!" She demanded as Emmett climbed up next to his wife watching what appeared to Macy's mother beating her with a broom.

"Jesus." Emmett whispered looking away

"It's always like this." was all Rosalie explained

"Why doesn't she just leave, or fight back, she's bigger than her mom." Emmett asked watching Macy receive another blow to the back

"It would only get her in more trouble."

"So you sit here every night and watch her get beaten?" Emmett put forth, Rosalie jabbed him nearly knocking him out of the tree

"I am making sure her mother doesn't kill her." Rosalie hissed and Emmett could understand that part. But he was impressed with Macy; Rosalie wasn't usually too concerned with people enough to watch out for them. Rosalie wasn't big on human beings or anyone that didn't matter to her, Emmett didn't want to watch Macy get beaten down anymore, but he didn't want to leave Rosalie.

"Thank you." She said after a few moments, sensing his decision, and it was enough for him.

In the 2 months since Carlisle had left Macy a sharp contrast in personality change had come for both of them. Carlisle had become deeply depressed and extremely work obsessed and Macy had become apathetic and slightly cruel. Emmett watched Carlisle and Rosalie kept a close eye on Macy, who appeared half starved and bruised. She worked down at the free clinic just south of Yaunder Street, making something close to nothing in money. Macy got maybe 100 dollars a check, 80 of which went to her mother, who hardly allowed her to eat anyway. Rosalie often caught Macy dumpster diving for food, and she could barely afford insulin. The psychology of the entire situation was amazing to Emmett and Rosalie, Macy's mother taught her that she needed her, so Macy stayed in a sadistic abusive relationship because she didn't know any better; Macy thought that she deserved this. Often times, Macy's mother would taunt Macy over Carlisle

_How could you think that he could love you? LOOK at you? You're disgusting!_

_Until further notice you are not allowed to eat!_

_YOU'RE TRASH MACY! I hope you get beaten and raped tonight!_

When Rosalie heard Beth scream at Macy, hearing that she wanted her to get raped and murdered, she nearly killed Beth herself. Things were becoming quickly worse for Macy; her mental state was quickly deteriorating as well.


	12. Fallen, along the way

**Disclaimer: I do not own "Sarah McLachlan" or her song "FALLEN"**

**Along the way**

Every day was a whole new adventure with Macy and what new accusations would be brought unto her. Rosalie had been keeping a close watch during the night, and even managed to get a bit closer to Macy as friends. Emmett had grudgingly come to accept that this was an endeavor that Rosalie was going to see through regardless of what he had to say about it, so he decided to chip in as well.

He watched from the ground as Rosalie sat comfy in the tree and scribbled down on her note pad. She'd been keeping tabs on every incident in which transpired between Macy and her mother, or her sister. Rosalie had become slightly obsessed with the entire scenario.

When this first began Rosalie just thought maybe Carlisle was having a fling and that Macy wasn't really anyone, but she soon began to realize that Carlisle was desperately in love with Macy, and while trying to do the right thing he'd made a horrible mistake in breaking up with Macy. As approached, masked by heavy grey clouds Rosalie jumped from the tree and walked down the street to her car; when she arrived home and recounted the night before to Emmett, who sat on the couch and listened intently.

"At 8:30 Macy's sister had hauling down the stairs hysterical screaming that Macy was wearing one of her shirts and of course, Beth went into crying hysterics about _how could you do that?_. Emmett, she was actually crying, you'd think that Macy had killed her sister." Rosalie fumed, going back and forth.

"Babe, why don't you just talk to her? About getting out of there?" Emmett asked, Rosalie stopped and thought

"We're supposed to hang out today."

"When?"

"Around 3:00, after she gets off of work."

"Hey, I'll cook dinner, Edward and Bella are stopping by, and we'll all go to the movies." Emmett told, by the time Rosalie had gone to pick Macy up, it was raining, so much for summer fun, was all she thought. Macy got into the car and didn't smile. Her face was gaunt and her clothes were hanging off of her, circles clearly evident underneath her eyes.

"So, Emmett is making dinner." She spoke

"I was under the impression that the Cullen's don't eat." Macy spoke; Rosalie was a bit tied there.

"Yeah, if you're not hungry then you don't have to eat. But we're all going to the movies as well." Rosalie added.

When they arrived at the house Emmett, Bella and Edward were equally struck by Macy's appearance, and Edward, who had previously been hungry lost his appetite when he saw Macy, and current state of unhealthiness.

She looked horrible and appeared to getting by on as little as possible without dying. Whereas the winter had been unusually wet and soggier than usual; but the idea of summer wasn't enough to keep the realizations of Macy's present state out of her mind.

"So, what are you doing for the 4th of July Macy?" Bella asked trying to keep her eyes off of the girl she used to see around the halls.

"Nothing." Was all Macy replied, but Edward heard something different. Macy was going over all of the abuse in her mind, it was killing Edward, he could nearly see the images, she was also contemplating suicide, but then again, so was Carlisle, sometimes.

The last time Edward had seen Carlisle was the week before, and he seemed equally as depressed as Macy, and had wanted thought of paying vampires to end his life. There wasn't anything anyone could do, Carlisle had completely immersed himself into his work and cried often when he was home, or so Alice had mentioned. Macy and Carlisle had become two incredibly dense and black forces through this breakup. It was always amazing to Edward how breakups did that to people, but rarely are both people depressed in breakups. Edward blinked as he pulled into the movie theatre.

**FALLEN**

Carlisle nearly threw the radio against the wall, but too many people would have noticed. It was 10 am and he'd just finished treating another kid who nearly blew his hand out, damn fireworks, and damn parents not keeping an eye on their kids, **and** damn Sarah McLachlan, yeah that's right, the singer.

Ever he and Macy had parted ways that stupid song of hers followed him everywhere.

_Though I've tried, I've fallen...  
I have sunk so low  
I have messed up  
Better I should know  
So don't come round here  
And tell me I told you so..._

A song was summing up a situation for Carlisle, oh my god how pitiful was that? It depressed him so much more because it was true. Sometimes Carlisle went on walks hoping that maybe he'd see Macy, and he got his wish a few days ago. There she was on Everson Street, skeletal, eating out of a trash can, and he did nothing. He kept trying to convince himself that leaving her alone was better for her.

Yes Carlisle, eating out of a trashcan and covered with brutal bruises was better for her, my god what had he come to? Where was that compassion he always spoke of? That he was so deeply known for? He felt himself coming undone, so much so that he nearly begged Alice to have a premonition and tell of what was to come, but merely looked at him sadly, apparently, Macy and Carlisle weren't meant to prevail after all.

But good things had come out of this breakup- that was a complete lie just now. Carlisle spent a lot of time trying to justify his actions, and each time the lies left a bitter and resentful taste in his mouth. Rosalie on the other had bonded to Macy deeply, and although Emmett didn't say it to her, he knew that Rosalie thought of Macy as the daughter she never had the chance to have.

Macy even joked that Rosalie spoke to her like a mother does; Rosalie certainly would have been a better mother to Macy. Carlisle often wondered if Macy would have been different had her mother considered her "worthy" of love. The sound of his shoes on the squeaky clean floor echoed at the lyrics from the song implemented their authority on his heart and he found himself sighing heavily. He thought back to Emmett, and whether or not Emmett would bring up his concerns with Rosalie's slight obsession with Macy, and protecting her…


	13. I Know

Disclaimer: I don't own ER

**Note: I hate to beg, but if someone could please for the love of all that is awesome give me some feed back on this chapter I would love that. Some notes on how they think that this is going.**

**I know**

It was an unusual dry Saturday in Forks for November, Rosalie and Macy walked up and down while Rosalie peered into shops, knowing that all the clothes would look phenomenal on her. Despite the fact that Rosalie had convinced Macy to eat and she had now gained a respectful 13 pounds, she was still unhealthy looking and slightly gaunt.

But with Rosalie's help she'd gotten a good job at Mason's soap as the evening manager and now had her own place, her mental morale was through the roof compared to what it had been, and she listened intently as Rosalie zipped up her coat and fixed her collar as they continued along and they were getting rather interesting looks. Rosalie was gorgeous as usual, a stunning figure next to a vagabond looking girl who was nearly defeated looking.

They entered the park the sound of children pulled on Rosalie's heart strings when she felt a warn hand slid into hers.

"I'm lost, I'm lost!" A girl cried looking up to Rosalie with teary eyes, lowering herself to the small child's level Rosalie merely smiled and said

"Don't worry, we'll find her." And lifted her up and held the child looking around

"Rebecca! Rebecca!" A women yelled with relief in her voice, "Oh thank GOD!" she said taking the girl and thanking Rosalie and walking away.

"Congrats Rosalie, you're a hero." Macy smiled winking, but with a straight face and without a sound Rosalie walked over to a bench and sat still,

"Rosalie?" Macy asked sitting beside her friend, starring straight ahead Rosalie choked back a sob, until the sound of laughing children consumed her and burst. Macy didn't tell her to "shhh" or that it would be alright, she put her arm around her friend and sat quiet.

"I can't…" Rosalie choked covering her eyes "I can't have children." She told and cried harder about it than ever. Emmett had been the only person who she'd ever cried in front of over the ordeal, Macy patiently sat with her as she vented over how remorseful she was over not having the ability to be a mother, the one thing she truly wants.

That evening when Rosalie returned home to Emmett who was watching TV on HD he immediately caught that she was upset. Rosalie recounted the tale and cried once more and Emmett felt relieved that she'd found someone to talk to and Emmett accepted that Rosalie thought of Macy as her daughter. And maybe that wasn't a terrible thing; god knows Carlisle was lonelier than hell and miserable as ever, though he had been getting better, but not much.

Carlisle glanced at the board and was surprised that there was only a head lac in trauma 4 and he glanced at the TV in the waiting room, a repeat of ER was on and he rolled his eyes cursing them beneath his breath.

Shows like that were a crime against his profession, and gave it a last glance once more as he searched through the desk for his stethoscope, something as of recently he frequently lost.

He touched the Valentine card in his pocket he'd received from Macy months before. It was warn at the edges and faded slightly, he carried it everywhere with him now. It was 6:30 in the evening and quiet, thought it was usually like that around here. Although no one else could, Carlisle heard screaming. He turned in the direction of the entrance of the emergency room.

Rosalie came exploding through the doors, blood all over her clothes, on her hands, in her hair, on her face, looking as if she'd torn someone apart. She was screaming in such an out of control fashion that her words mashed together and her sobs were helping, Emmett walked in beside her, his eyes fixed on her in disbelief, his jaw slightly ajar in shock, his expression complete flabbergasted. Rosalie persisted in screaming and moaning hysterically until chills and panic went down Carlisle's spine as more clearly now, Rosalie was screaming for him to help Macy as she held her hands for him to see, emphasizing on the bright red blood all over her.


	14. Heart in Hands

**Note: Sorry if the chapters are too short, I just don't want you all to get bored. :D I shall make them longer.**

**Heart in hands**

Carlisle relived the entire incident over and over in his head. Macy coming through the emergency doors, on a gurney, intubated while chest compressions were being administered for a nonexistent heartbeat, they performed a thoracotomy, which means that they opened her chest and spread her ribs and massaged her heart, Carlisle, literally, had her heart in his hands. 6 units of blood later they had her stabilized and sent up to the ICU, and now here Carlisle was, his shift ended 6 hours ago, his hair was messy, his eyes were red and he was sitting across from her.

Macy was covered in bandages, she had suffered severe head trauma and was now relying on life-support. Whether or not she would have permanent brain damage and police officers were still investigating, but from what they knew was that there was no forced entry and someone had malicious intent; he reached out and touched a small part of her cheek, the only place on her face that wasn't covered by gauze and bandage.

Carlisle cleared his throat and held back his tears,

"Hello Macy." He said but could not contain himself, as tears rolled down his face, "hell of a way to meet up again." He cried looking down, and trying to smile, he collected himself and spoke.

"You deserve so much better than this. You deserved the truth." He began, tears fell and he spoke again "I ran away from you, I got scared and thought- hoped maybe I was protecting you, helping you." He bit his lip and looked upward, looked away.

"This is so unfair; I'd give anything to trade with you Macy. I turned my back on you when you needed me, when I needed you most. These past years I've been someone else; who I was had become this ghost that didn't even bother haunting me. When I was with you Macy, I was me again." He cried taking her hand, "I'm so sorry Macy." He cried, not noticing the nurses who wiped their tears or had excused themselves.

Rosalie had calmed down substantially, and was not sitting with Emmett in the hallway. The damn cop had finally gone away, but he'd taken his suspicion with him, making Rosalie recount the story 4 times, unsatisfied with his inability to find a hole in it.

It was simple, Rosalie arrived at the house to find the door locked, but she said something felt wrong, when in reality she'd smelt the blood and went inside to find Macy at the foot of the stairs, bleeding and convulsing, foaming at the mouth. She'd tried to administer CPR but when blood came out of Macy's mouth she'd had to stop, feeling the blood on it's way to controlling her.

Macy called 911 and Emmett and waited helplessly as Macy bled to death, but she was certain that she'd kill Macy if she came any closer, so when Emmett arrived about the time the paramedics did he initially thought that maybe Rosalie had attacked her.

Emmett wasn't about to lie, he thought that in an attempt to make Macy immortal she had become consumed with bloodlust and while trying to stop herself, greatly wounded Macy. He had been shocked as ever, especially that she could call the ambulance. He already saw them packing up and leaving Forks, accused on murder. He called Bella and Edward before he knew what had happened and they too knew that Rosalie couldn't have done this. If it had been an attempt to make Macy her child, she would have asked, or begged Carlisle, maybe even force him.

A nurse escorted them to the ICU and as they walked Emmett held Rosalie and asked if Macy's family had been notified, to which she informed that they could not be reached. Macy was sight to behold, covered in dressings, a breathing tube doing all of the work, the terrible beep of the machine.

"She's going to die isn't she?" Rosalie asked, very calm, Carlisle stared at her.

"You've made a terrible mess of things Rosalie," was all he said glancing down at Macy, Rosalie stood silently

"There's no going back now. She's either going to die or recover, with a 98 percent chance of brain damage, probably a vegetable her entire life." Carlisle told carrying a cold tone, Emmett nor had Rosalie ever seen him this way.

"There isn't any venom in her. She hasn't transformed, I found her this way, I tried to give her CRP but the blood in her mouth, and I was horrified I'd kill her."

Carlisle only nodded

"It was her mother, I know it." Rosalie added

"Whatever your thoughts maybe at this point Rosalie, don't do anything." Carlisle sighed wearily rubbing his face and then glancing down at Macy again, and crying.

"I'm going to get Edward to read her thoughts, I need confirmation." Rosalie stated harshly

"Right now babe, you need a shower, come on." Emmett said escorting Rosalie outside and into the car, when they got home Rosalie walked into the bathroom and closed the door, though in her head it seemed to slam intensely and made her jumped. Rosalie was rarely started but her nerves were on edge. She heard the muffled sounds of the phone ringing and knew that it was Bella, who probably thought that Rosalie had fed on Macy, and who could blame her?

It would have been the first things that went through her mind as well. Reaching her arm out and hearing the sound of pressurized water hitting the shower floor Rosalie stepped beneath and pulled the curtain closed, holding her hands out watching as the dried blood ran off the tips of her fingers, out of her hair, down her shoulders, and swirling around the drain.


	15. These Arms

**THESE ARMS**

Carlisle found himself wondering things lately, crazy things, maybe not so crazy actually, maybe they were just lonely things. He'd watch something on TV and wonder if Macy would have laughed at that, or she would have thought it was a nice day for a walk. He buttoned his shirt and walked out to his hair, the rain patting down on his hair as usual.

By the time he'd pulled into the station the rain had become a pathetic trickle and he didn't even bother running his hands through his hair. As he approached the desk that contained Charlie Swan eating a sandwich, Carlisle knew that Sue Clearwater had most likely prepared it for him and for a moment, Carlisle felt himself become intensely jealous, something he rarely felt this strongly.

Charlie was in love, was going to get married and have children, and although intensely happy for him, there was a weight of sorrow and envy pulling on Carlisle's heart that was unprecedented compared to his happiness for Charlie. Charlie, who now looked up from his sandwich wiped his hands and offered it to Carlisle, who shook it.

"How are you today Doctor?" he asked, clearly aware of Macy's situation

"I'm doing well, and yourself?"

"Just fine," Charlie told with a smile, he might as well have been bouncing on air. Carlisle took a seat and simply said

"How is the investigation?" and the question seemed to take Charlie off guard, he wasn't used to Carlisle being so forward.

"We're still working on it." Was all he said, but Carlisle's expression clearly wasn't satisfied, Charlie cleared his throat and leaned forward, "Carlisle, I can't discuss the case with you."

"I'm her doctor." Was all Carlisle said, and Charlie held up a finger in protest

"No, no. No you are not, you're her boyfriend."

"Ex boyfriend," Carlisle corrected and Charlie rolled his eyes

"Ex doctor, ex boyfriend, this is still based on emotional involvement. What I can tell you is what you already know. There was no forced entry, no rape occurred, nothing was stolen. Carlisle, there appears to be no motive what so ever."

"How about the motive to beat and torture a woman to death? Haven't you questioned her mother? Didn't you know about their relationship?" Carlisle asked, his brows furrowed Charlie was quiet, of course he'd considered Beth, Macy's mother, but he only had circumstantial evidence. Charlie waited a moment for the tension to clear, and when Carlisle nodded to him, it was the signal that he was calm.

"So, how is Macy?" was all he asked

"She's making progress, the likelihood of brain damage is diminished, but she still hasn't come out of her coma." Carlisle told, Charlie cleared his throat as Carlisle stood

"Well, that's good. Do you visit her often?" Charlie asked looking up at Carlisle, who nodded and motioned to the book underneath his arm,

"Yes I do," Carlisle told, and looked down at the book that his right arm was holding against his side "we're reading **A ****wrinkle in time**." Carlisle told

"Hmm, that's an interesting book." Charlie noted, Carlisle laughed

"She hates love stories and sappy romances."

"Yeah but **A wrinkle in time**, really messed me up." Charlie told, his eyes expressing the slight trauma of a book slightly too scientific and religious for him.

"It's alright. Thanks again Charlie." Carlisle said extending his arm and shaking his hand, he turned and promptly left.

Merely out of habit, Carlisle usually checked Macy's chart when he saw her, which was nearly everyday. He took a seat beside her; some of the bandages had come off and took her hand.

"Good afternoon Macy," he said bringing her hand to his cheek and closing his eyes as their skin met. He took a breath and opened the book to the fifth chapter; he hadn't even gotten to the 2nd paragraph when he heard a voice.

"Dr. Cullen, it's your day off, what are you doing here?" it sang, it was Sarah Obowers, she was another doctor in the clinic and word had it that she really liked him. Though Carlisle didn't need to rely on gossip, it was evident in everything she did, her eye contact, her body posture, her tone. He looked up from the book and smiled

"Oh, just reading to Macy."

"That's so nice of you to read to the patients. Especially the ones who don't get any visitors." She smiled walking by him. Obowers knew damn well that Macy wasn't just a patient to him. He continued reading when she interrupted again,

"What are you doing this evening?" she asked with that smile. Sarah wasn't ugly, but she wasn't for Carlisle.

She was disrespectful, pushy, gossipy, and twofaced- and that was to only name a few. Not to mention that he had repeatedly explained to her that even though incapacitated, he was devoted to Macy, and he told her this, she asked him about again, as if he'd said nothing at all. Carlisle had even worked different shifts than her and was currently looking for reasons to fire her, maybe he'd pull the sexual harassment card, and he certainly had more than enough evidence and means to complain.

"I, I'm seeing my children this evening." Was all he stated, and it wasn't a total lie

"Oh, I didn't know you had children." Sarah said, very interested "how many?"

"5."

"Oh, they must be little babies." She commented, noting his age as very young

"No. I have a grandchild as well, they're my adopted children." He told and regretted it, as her expression and tone lit up immediately. After a few minutes Sarah finally left the room and in him peace. He made it through 5 more chapters of the book when he began to idly talk to Macy about his day and things that were going on.

Realizing he had to meet Edward and Bella, Carlisle kissed Macy's hand and headed to the parking lot, luckily, dodging Sarah who had passed by Macy's room finding it void of Carlisle, but fixing her gaze on Macy, pursing her lips bitterly.

A soft wind came from somewhere, it blew the scent of Stocks right beneath her nose, all around Macy there was wind and fragrance. She turned and saw Carlisle smiling,

"Carlisle?" she asked stepping forward

"No, not really, I'm just your unconscious. He's talking to you right now, and whenever he comes to talk and to read to you, it filters out into me."

"Oh," Macy said, "am I brain dead?" she asked slightly frightened

"No, you wouldn't be here. But you are in a prolonged state right now."

"A coma?" she asked, and he nodded. And that was the first thing that happened to Macy the first time Carlisle came to see her. After that Carlisle would appear when Rosalie visited as well.

"She's bathing you right now, and incredibly sad." He would tell her,

"When can I leave this place?" Macy asked, looking around, it really wasn't bad at all, much better than real life actually. Carlisle merely shrugged

"How should I know? At this point your body- well your brain is repairing itself. Sometimes people are in comas for years." He told, Macy shook it pained her to think of waking up a 45 year old woman.

"I don't think Carlisle would wait that long." She told, and the image of Carlisle smiled and looked down

"Oooohh," he nearly sang and then told "something tells me he can wait until the stars burn out."


	16. Rosalie in wonderland

Chapter 16

_**Rosalie in wonderland**_

_To wander through this living world_

_And leave uncut the roses, is to remember fragrance where_

_The flower no scent encloses._

Remembrance**,** Langston Hughes

Macy leaned down and smelled the Wisteria in the morning, and closed her eyes taking the perfection of the perfume.

"It's not real Wisteria you know." She learned and turned around to see Carlisle standing before her, his fingertips touching each other

"Hello Carlisle." She said plainly walking off; he lowered his head and puckered his lips

"I see you're still quite angry with me." He spoke, and she merely glanced at him over her shoulder and did not reply, her stare was sufficient enough

"You don't want to stay here forever Macy," he spoke again. Macy was thoughtful and glanced around her surrounding, high mountains and beautiful trees, stock flowers growing all around her, a perfect 65 degrees out, and the subtle wind in her hair.

"Why? It's perfect. No beatings, no hopelessness, all mine and nothing to harm me." She told closing her eyes; Carlisle took a look around and nodded

"This wonderland is quite fantastic, but it is not perfect, and you know it." He told, Macy turned to face him, her expressed begged to differ, Carlisle's eyes went up and down her body, "You're still wearing your hospital gown." He stated, Macy looked down to see her bare feet, and the white gown with small blue dots.

"So, maybe I like this gown? It suits my complexion." She stated coldly

"Macy, in paradise, you'd be able to wear what you wanted. Some part of you is aware that this isn't what is meant to be. That's why I'm here."

"How's Rosalie?" she asked after a moment

"I do not know, I am not actually Carlisle, I'm your subconscious. I cannot vouch for Rosalie, but I am aware that Carlisle comes and reads to you everyday." He told, Macy looked stunned

"Still?" she asked, and he nodded

"What is he reading now?"

"Just finished "**A wrinkle in time**," he told

"I never liked that book."

"He means well." Carlisle told

"I want Rosalie here in wonderland with me. What fun we could have." Macy told dreamily, Carlisle hesitated

"So I see the feelings are permanent." He told, Macy looked away

"You know nothing of it."

"I know, that a very old vampire, stuck in the body of an 18 year old, has adopted a 20 something as her surrogate child and you cleave to her as if she was your mother, and I doubt that this shall ever be undone. Perhaps it is meant to be." Carlisle said

"So? Why should I be denied a mother? And she denied a daughter? We're happy. Very happy," Macy spat, Carlisle's features were soft

"Than be happy Macy, but do so in the living world." He told backing away, Macy breathed deep.

_**Carlisle**_

With the much advised support of his adoptive children, Carlisle spent a day away from the hospital. He saw a movie and took a walk by the lake, getting stares as he did. Most people did not see Dr. Cullen outside of the hospital, and he even got a few cat calls from women in their cars, he didn't deny that it felt good, but his thoughts were once more on Macy. And then they fell to Esme.

It astounded him, was he truly meant for solitude? To have only the memory of love, and deal with the loss for eternity? He couldn't decide, but all he knew was that with time nothing was healing, he was simply getting used to feeling helpless. He knew for a fact that Charlie was going to have to close the case soon and that indeed, Beth, who was guilty of trying to beat her daughter to death, would walk away Scot-free and was already enjoying the insurance benefits of it.

It was 10:45 when he returned home pulling into his driveway to see none other than Dr. Obowers sitting on his front porch, Carlisle felt very uncomfortable.

"Hello, Dr. Obowers, what brings you here this evening?" He spoke, using a pleasant tone, she stood smiling using her toothy grin

"Oh, you know, I wanted to see you and what not. You weren't here so I waited." She told, Carlisle nodded slowly

"How long have you been waiting?" he asked, standing there

"Oh, about 45 minutes." She lied, 5 hours, 6 minutes and 3 seconds.

"I see, is there anything you needed to give me?" he asked, still standing a ways away

"Uh, no I just, wanted to remind you of the meeting tomorrow morning, 8 sharp." She smiled waving and leaving quickly.

Carlisle waved and quickly went inside, he knew for a fact that no one at the hospital had his personal address, and wondered how she even got it, but then again, it was a small town and she easily could have asked around. When Carlisle closed the door he saw Edward, Bella, Rosalie and Emmett all conversing in the living room.

"So, I take it that you allowed Dr. Obowers to sit outside." Carlisle said putting his keys in a bowl

"She can stay there, she waited for hours." Bella spoke, in an uncharacteristically cruel tone

"Really, she said only 45 minutes or so,"

"No, she was there a while," Alice said walking in

"She's obsessed with you Carlisle, for some time now, when you were with Esme, when you were with Macy; she's been keeping tabs on you all of this time." Edward told

"I see you've been using your abilities aptly." Carlisle nodded, but his focus shifted to Alice, whose face was deeply solemn.

"She's going to make sure Macy dies this time." Alice told, a tear falling down her face.


	17. When the energy comes

Chapter 16

**When the energy comes**

Although she did not move, Rosalie's eyes bulged and began to quickly move back and forth, and after a moment found her voice, which was rancid with hate and disbelief.

"You mean, all this time? It wasn't Macy's mother? It was Dr. Obowers who attacked Macy?" Rosalie asked, Alice nodded

"How long have you known?" Rosalie demanded jumping to her feet toward Alice, Jasper stood in front of her with wide and daring eyes, but Rosalie continued and when Jasper raised his arm to strike Emmett interceded, his eyes wild, everyone stood still.

"Everyone calm down!" Carlisle demanded holding his arms out, the rage in the room had elevated to profound levels.

"Alice," he began carefully "how long have you known this?"

"Just now," she told, now standing facing Rosalie

"Ok, you hear that Rosalie, she didn't know, now everyone back off." He told as everyone began take steps back. Rosalie had a determined face.

"Do you know when? When she plans to kill Macy?" Rosalie asked looking at Edward

"Not soon, she has to plan it," Edward told

"Now that Macy is in stable condition she's been moved from the ICU." Carlisle told, feeling the need to get to the hospital.

"Don't worry, she's at home, I can sense it." Edward told, but this reassurance did nothing for Rosalie and Carlisle's nerves. By the time the tension had subsided, Jasper and Alice had gone off to their rooms, while Bella and Edward had left.

Rosalie and Emmett lingered for a while but too saw their way out, leaving Carlisle alone with his thoughts. Although he'd never slept in the bed, he had indeed pretended to a few times. It was only a few months ago that it was his intentions of bringing Macy back here and making love to her and eventually tell her about him. He was certain that was Macy was the woman he wanted to live out the rest of his life with her by his side, forever and always. It was suddenly that Carlisle felt the room becoming darker, and he knew that he was slipping away.

His eyes opened with a start only to see the clock next to his bed, 6:20 in the morning it read. The phone was ringing louder than ever and he sat up, realizing that he's slipped away into one of his comas, for hours, and he felt terrible, his head was killing him.

"Hello?" He said answering the phone

"Carlisle, this is Charlie Swan, did I wake you?" He asked, Carlisle thought for a moment

"Kind of." He said looking around

"Carlisle," Charlie said with a sigh, Carlisle braced himself for the worst, "Carlisle, Macy is missing." Charlie told

"WHAT?" Carlisle said standing up

"I just thought that you should know."

"Who is on duty right now?"

"What?"

"The staff Charlie, the staff!"

"Oh, uh, let me check." Charlie told, and a minute later came back on the phone

"Wen, Gillman, McClusky and Obowers, why?"

"Don't let Obowers leave, you hear me?"

"Um, ok-" Charlie said but Carlisle hung up the phone and raced to the door, he couldn't believe this. How could Alice or Edward not have seen this coming? If Obowers had dumped Macy somewhere, it's possible she could still be alive; he'd scour all of the Pacific Northwest if he damned well had to.

Carlisle barely parked when he pulled into the clinic; he nearly bolted inside, and sure enough, when he found Charlie next to an empty bed with a few baffled police standing around.

"What's going on?"

"About an hour ago, an orderly came in and saw that Macy was gone, but had not been checked out or moved to a different room." Charlie told, Carlisle glanced around, noticing the IV's laying about the bed, the breathing tube removed and other various tubes that were once connected to Macy keeping her alive.

"Charlie, she cannot breathe without a ventilator, I want you to start searching the grounds, I think someone dumped her somewhere." Carlisle explained and Charlie gave the orders, when Carlisle stepped out into the hall he saw Sarah signing a chart, she looked over at him and smiled

"Carlisle," she cooed walking over to him, he did not smile

"Sarah, where is Macy." Was all he said, she looked shocked

"What are you taking about?"

"You know, she's missing."

"I heard a patient was missing."

"You heard it was Macy." He stated, her features relented

"Ok, I heard it was Macy, and I don't care." She stated

"Are you telling me you had nothing to do with her disappearance?"

"Carlisle, there are security cameras all around this place, they'll show you were I was." She coolly stated, with a smile

"You're sick." He told

"No, I'm in love. I'd do anything for you." She told grabbing his arms, Carlisle stood there, unmoved "Now that Macy's gone, we can be together." She told, he began walking away and she followed intently

"When Esme was gone, I thought I'd done the trick, but then that little Macy came along, an orderly Carlisle! And you fell into her arms and not mine. But now that she's gone, we can be together! Don't you see, it's destiny Carlisle! God got rid of her for me, you can turn me and we'll be together." She pleaded, Carlisle froze in his tracks, and turned, his eyes were wide with shock.

"Yes, I've known all along Carlisle, I came across it by accident years ago. I saw you hunting in the forest, but you were too focused to notice me, and then suddenly, it all made sense about you and your family. And when I got in contact with some people who could for sure get rid of Esme I thought we'd be together. Don't you get it Carlisle? I've been here all long, watching and waiting, and now it's my time!" Sarah told her eyes wide and watering with insanity.

Carlisle pulled his hands away from hers and stepped back, he'd deal with her later. He felt that Sarah was telling the truth, not only did she not know where Macy was or who took her, but she didn't care- but Carlisle was also positive that she was clinically insane.

As he stepped outside the door he caught a familiar scent in the air, and he knew exactly what had happened. A strange energy ran through his veins like nothing had before.


	18. The sure cure

Chapter 18

**_The sure cure_**

Rosalie fascinated a pin in her hair and looked in the mirror and smiled. Perfect. She ran her hands over her dress smoothing out her uniform once more and stepped out into the nearly empty hallway. It was early, 3 in the morning, all the patients were asleep and all of the staff falling asleep. Emmett was out hunting and would be doing so for a while now, Rosalie had hunted as well before she left; and she was so close. Macy was lying before her connected to several tubes in which Rosalie was in the process of removing, carefully.

She lifted Macy with ease onto a gurney and pulled a sheet over her rolling her out into the hallway, got about hundred feet before hearing a voice.

"Morning nurse,"

"Morning," was all Rosalie replied as she walked on, getting to the back door and picking Macy up into her arms, the sound of her wheezing loud as she struggled for breath. Rosalie set her eyes on the hills and began to run like a madman. Faster than any car and more undetectable than one anyway, Rosalie could feel that soon the sun would be rising in a few hours, there and then she would provide the remedy for Macy.

As tree branches wisped past Rosalie, catching in her hair, and sliding across her face, visions of her, Emmett and Macy as one big happy family lulled her into running even faster and she sensed that the top of the mountain was no longer quite as far as it had been only seconds before. She found herself remembering that Carlisle had mentioned that Macy had always wanted to see a sunrise, and Rosalie would grant her that, her last mortal sunrise.

Carlisle stopped short, as if being hit by a 10 ton truck, his eyes were wide and he was breathing in very deeply. Although Carlisle was sniffing the air and identifying the scent, Charlie Swan who had just stepped outside, thought perhapsthat Carlisle was having a panic attack due to all of the stress, as any human being might.

"Carlisle, are you alright?" Charlie asked carefully from the door, ignoring him at first Carlisle finally answered

"Yes, of course, anxiety just, took a hold of me, that's all." He lied, but in a very calm and cool tone. His eyes were scouring the surrounding area, the scent was getting weaker, father away, Macy, he could smell Macy and another vampire, Rosalie- how could he not have seen this coming?

"Maybe you should come inside and have some coffee Carlisle, you know, take the edge off." Charlie suggested, only realizing that caffeine would not help at all and perhaps even put Carlisle more ill at ease.

"No thanks, I'm actually going to head home. I need some time to think, you have my number." Carlisle told motioning to his cell phone.

"No I don't." Charlie noted watching Carlisle head off to his car

"Well, I have yours." Carlisle called back, closing the door to his car and starting the engine heading back to the house. Alice, that's who he needed right now, she was the only one who could know what to do, Carlisle sped through the morning, knowing that first light was coming soon and as thoughts raced through Carlisle's mind he felt his foot press harder on the gas. Swerving into the driveway, Carlisle closed his eyes and took a breath, collecting himself. He was used to acting manic and never had before in his life and now everything felt as if it were coming undone.

When Carlisle slammed the car door shut, Alice and Jasper appeared in the doorway to the house, beating him to it.

"I've seen it all." Alice told; Jasper had a slightly amused look on his face. "She's taken Macy to the mountain, to make her one of us." Alice told, Emmett appeared behind her

"I just got here, I was out hunting." He told, and looked incredibly sick

"She can't turn Macy into a vampire; it could very well kill her." Carlisle explained

"But, Bella was in an incredible weak condition and she became a vampire." Jasper noted

"Bella didn't suffer an intense comatic state from severe physical abuse." Carlisle put forth

"I don't know if Rosalie is crazy or what, but she's incredibly determined, and could possible be pushed to killing one of us if it comes down to it," Alice explained, Emmett crossed his arms and looked down, fighting tears- no one wants to admit that their spouse is insane,

"So she'll stop at nothing." Jasper added

"This is her chance at a child, and she'll be damned if anyone interferes with that, Carlisle." Alice explained, Carlisle took a step back knowing that only tragedy could come from this.

Rocking back and forth, humming soothing lullabies that she always whispered she'd sing to her children, and for the first time in a long time, Rosalie Hale was complete. She sat down and cradled Macy, the way that a mother does, her gaze when down to Macy, who'd grown paler slightly and her breath weaker as she dying without the support of machines.

Rosalie glanced at the horizon, the sun was pealing its just above, and the warm rays of light touched Rosalie's skin, igniting it into what appeared to be billions of diamonds. Rosalie closed her eyes and lifted Macy's neck to her mouth, her lips touching warm skin and drank; the warm blood flowing over her tongue and down her throat, the first human blood she'd ever tasted and now it was fluid into her own veins.

After much difficulty she pulled away and felt Macy shaking violently in her arms as she transformed, she began singing to her again, a soft lullaby to sooth the pain. After several moments when Macy had stopped shivering Rosalie stared down at Macy, who was motionless and pale white. The pain reached up from Rosalie's chest, feeling her throat get sore and hot tears, Rosalie let out a yell of intense misery as she pulled Macy close to her chest and rocked her back and forth, perhaps that would heal her?


	19. Light the sky, part 1

Chapter 19

**Light the sky, part 1**

Carlisle gave a glance to Emmett, Alice and Jasper, the sun was now in the sky.

"Alright, we head for the mountain and find Rosalie and Macy. Let's go." Carlisle ordered as the 4 of them set off at record speeds through the forest when he caught Rosalie scent, fixing his eyes on the hills he saw a small figure on top of it, and could hear Rosalie sobbing, his heart was officially breaking.

Emmett, Alice, Jasper and Carlisle walked toward Rosalie, who was sitting on the ground, alone.

Emmett leaned down and touched her shoulder,

"Rose, where's Macy?" he asked in a soft tone, Carlisle had never once heard him speak with such tenderness and yet Carlisle himself felt a dire need to find Macy and wrap her in his arms.

"Like a butterfly, she flew away." Rosalie told looking at Emmett, who snatched her up into his arms. There wasn't any insanity in Rosalie's voice, just intense sadness. Emmett had simply left, his wife in his arms, and Jasper casually sniffed the air

"She's long gone, but I'm sure through efforts I could, track her." Jasper offered

"Could you bring her to me?" Carlisle asked zipping up his coat looking around, it was one of the few times they'd all been out in the sun like this, dazzling, shimmering, about a mile away he heard two humans, a man and a woman, casually arguing about when to get married. Carlisle started off toward his car.

Carlisle actually slammed the door behind him and threw his keys on the counter in their regular place, walking toward his room in a daze. He unzipped his jacket and stood on the side of the bed, just as he felt himself start to sob, the room became white washed around him, his knees buckled and he fell right onto the bed, feeling like his head was happily swirling and he felt himself falling.

His dreams. He was actually dreaming right now…but vampires can't sleep, so how was he dreaming? He was having flashes, chasing Macy through a field. Esme. He was staring at Esme, she softly smiling approvingly, her eyes so caring and thoughtful. Her smile did not move, and yet communicated so much approval for him. _Go forth Carlisle. Do what you dream._

Carlisle felt his eyes flutter; he felt a warm hand in his. His eyes went up the much missed shape of Macy's body and then laid eyes on her features, her eyes were big and black, her lips slightly smiling, her hair trembling gently around her in some invisible breeze, the sun hitting directly on her face, and yet, she did not shimmer.

Not at all, she was not pale; Carlisle noticed immediately that he could smell human blood, in her mouth and now in her body. He looked in her eyes, but they gave him no answer, and when her lips touched his, he felt his arms involuntarily wrap around her falling backward onto the bed.

His clothes could not come off fast enough while with a simple tug Macy's hospital gown fell to her knees, revealing her plump breasts and skin, her black public hair glistening. Carlisle pulled his shirt over his head and Macy gazed at his marble white chest, she'd forgotten about how white it was.

It wasn't like being with Carlisle; it was like being with someone else, maybe because it had been so long, but when Carlisle's tongue slipped through her lips it was like heaven, and Carlisle could taste the distinct savor of human blood, from not long ago at all, but whose? Who had Macy fed on? His thoughts were stalled as he felt himself enter Macy and then let out an approving moan.

They were in the center of the bed, Carlisle sitting up while Macy had her legs wrapped around him, bliss, and more pure bliss. Macy thrusted hard and began running her fingers through Carlisle's hair, and her head fell back and with a groan, she came hard and strong. As her vaginal muscles squeezed, Carlisle felt himself cum, and then collapse in Macy's arms. The sun was beaming through the window, and Carlisle held Macy, his skin glittering like diamonds while hers did not. He didn't ask why, he didn't care why; he only wanted to hold her.

Macy climbed off of him and collapsed on the bed, staring up at him, her areolas dark with orgasm. Carlisle lay down beside her, nuzzling his face into her neck, holding her hand.

"I'm happy your back." Was all he said, Macy didn't reply

"Are you staying?" he asked looking at her

"Where would I go?" she finally replied, catching a whiff of the blood Carlisle touched her chin

"Clearly, somewhere was more important than here."


	20. Light the sky pt2: Rarest Rose

Chapter 19

**Light the sky, PT. 2: Rarest Rose**

The world could have been burning down, and Carlisle wouldn't even have noticed the feeling of heat on his skin, killing all those around him. In death and despair, pain and agony, Carlisle wouldn't have noticed any of this, because all that lay before him was Macy, and like tunnel vision, it was all that his heart could see. Carlisle reached his outstretched arm across the bed and touched the baby soft skin on her back, smooth and warm. Macy was dead asleep, something that was still boggling him, a harsh knock at the front door ripped him from his gaze; he sat up realizing he was naked, and grabbed his dark blue terrycloth robe just closing it as he got to the front door.

Upon opening it, Carlisle saw that two women police officers stood before him,

"Good evening Dr. Cullen, my name is Stephanie Lyons and this is my partner Samuel Joyce." She introduced, _oh guess the other one isn't a woman._

"Evening, come in." Carlisle nodded, allowing the officers to enter his house. They gazed around at its opulence

"You have a nice place here," Officer Joyce commented in a rather unpleasant tone

"Thank you, can I get you two, anything?" Carlisle asked

"No, just answer a few questions."

"Certainly," Carlisle nodded showing them into the living room "I'd offer you something, but we're all out."

"What is your relationship with Dr. Sarah Obowers?" Officer Lyons asks sitting down

"She's a doctor at my clinic." He replied, Lyons shrugged with a smile

"That simple?"

"No." Carlisle spoke, and their features turned to interested

"She pursued me often. But I wasn't interested." Carlisle honestly told

"Was she in love with you?" Lyons asked, believing easily herself it would be impossible not to be attracted to this fine young doctor

"She," Carlisle began and trailed off, embarrassed to even admit "was obsessed with me." He commented,

"Yes," Officer Joyce noted going through a note pad "several employees at the clinic have attested to this." He told, Carlisle nodded

"So, the love was unrequited?" Joyce offered

"Quite." Carlisle shared

"How many of your children live here with you?"

"Just Alice and Jasper. Edward, Rosalie and Emmett are all married now." He nodded

"Aren't you awfully young to have married children?"

"They're adopted."

"I see, and your wife, _Ismey_ died a few years back?" Lyons asks looking at a note pad similar to Joyce's

"Es-mey, and yes. She was murdered. They never found her killer." Carlisle corrected, the first time he'd been bitter all evening, Lyons remembered now, she and Joyce shared a skeptical look. She's seen the crime scene photos, ripped apart and then burned, a particularly heinous and violent crime, what kind of person was this ESME?

"Dr. Cullen, have you seen Dr. Sarah Obowers lately?" Joyce asked, Carlisle braced himself, he was fairly certain she'd cooked up some story where he'd sexually assaulted her, or something.

"Yes, at work yesterday." He nodded

"Any conversation, reason to think she wasn't ok."

"Dr. Obowers and I rarely work together, and it's even rarer that we converse on a personal level. Why do you ask?"

"Because she's missing; and during a routine search of her home we found many disturbing articles concerning you." Joyce explained, Carlisle was actually intrigued

"EXCUSE ME?" He asked sitting up

"Photos of you through the day, articles of your clothing, pieces of paper in which you've signed, pictures of you and a young woman, taking in Seattle." Joyce explained, Carlisle felt so totally violated. His twisted expression conveyed that quite well.

"Oh my good lord." He said

"Of course you'll be getting your things back, but right now they're evidence." Lyons explained

"Of course." Carlisle returned, still upset

"It seems as if Obowers has been stalking you for maybe 8 years, possibly almost 10." Lyons continued, Carlisle put his hand over his mouth

"But there is something we found, something that couldn't have been hers." Joyce said carefully taking large photos out of a manila folders, gingerly handing them to Carlisle.

Carlisle took them into his hands and gazed at him, his lips trembling. A gold bracelet with an _E _in the center.

"We knew it couldn't have been Obowers, because the inscription reads, _To my dearest Esme,-_

"Who the sun and moon, sets and rises for, Love Carlisle." Carlisle finished, a tear falling from his eye. Lyons and Joyce were silent for nearly a minute

"There are other items as well." Officer Lyons nearly whispered, Carlisle flipped through the photos, Esme's necklaces, earrings, bracelets. Obowers had taken so many of Esme's things, when Esme was killed he knew her things were missing, but now he was wondering how he didn't catch Sarah wearing them at work. NOW, he was pretty sure the sick twisted woman had worn them around the house.

"That's all for right now, thank you." The Officers said and excused themselves. Carlisle remained on the couch, the images still in his mind. He didn't even hear Macy come up from behind him.

"My diabetes." Was all she said, staring into his eyes, he gave her a strange look, "It's why I don't shimmer in the sun, it's why I can eat regular food, it's why I need sleep, it's why I can procreate and have a normal pregnancy." She said, a tear fell from Carlisle's eye

"It makes sense that the chemical reaction from your diabetic blood wouldn't mix exactly with the venom in Rosalie." He said looking away

"I know. That's why I let her bite me, afterward." Macy told, Carlisle looked up quickly

"Truly?"

"Rosalie is a good mother, or she will be, I couldn't deny her this gift. Though she is aware that her children will no doubt he human, and due to the genetics and then at the right age, Rosalie can turn them." Macy told; Carlisle was mystified by the information. OFCOURSE! How could he not have thought of that?

"Are you offering this gift to me?" He said quietly, Macy looked so deeply into his eyes

"If you should want it," was all she said. Without another moment, Carlisle stood to his feet, his dark blue terrycloth robe falling open slightly revealing his chest. His fingertips touching Macy's face, and his lips brushing her neck.


	21. Epilogue: This fire

**Note: There will be a part two to this series, titled "Alone in the Sun". **

**Note: Do not own end lyrics by Cute is what we aim for, song "your doctor your cure".**

**Epilogue: This fire**

_Now this is not the beginning, and this is not the end. But it is perhaps, the end of the beginning- Churchill_

Carlisle trembled with writhed violently on the floor, as the new venom pulsed through his veins. It was a delayed reaction kind of venom, he had bitten Macy over an hour ago, no wonder he hadn't seen Rosalie change. He let out a yell, that was equal to some one being gutted and he felt as if every inch of him-self was on fire, and he was going to feel it until the very end. Then, peace. The pain slowly went away and Carlisle lay on the cold floor, and to his amazement- sweat.

He sat up quickly touching his forehead, pulling his hand away, and clear, liquid sweat. He gasped and looked at Macy; the need for breath or the partial need for it, Carlisle got the feeling he could without breathing for at least 190 minutes. He felt Macy touch his hand. Carlisle stood up and ran to the bathroom, nearly knocking the door down, he'd forgotten to flip the switch when he finally looked in the mirror and began to cry.

His eyes, they were blue again. It had been over 300 years since he'd seen them that way, no photograph of evidence, and only an indistinct memory of what they had been, but they were, deep blue, like sapphires sitting in snow fall. When Carlisle straightened himself up and walked back out into the living room to his own shock, he saw Rosalie, her head on Macy's shoulder and sitting Emmett who was leaning on Rosalie. Rose and Emmett gazed at him, through very hazel and naturally brown eyes. Carlisle sat down across from them.

"It's Macy's diabetic blood, due to her imbalance of hormones and natural sugars and how the body processes it, it interacts different with the venom and allows all of the strengths of the vampire venom but none of the pitfalls." Carlisle explained

"We know," Emmett smiled "Rosalie and I had a steak dinner before we came here." His grin was triumphant and huge

"And I took a nap for the first time in forever." Rosalie cooed, Carlisle nodded, he realized that tomorrow it was going to be sunny day, and he wouldn't have to cancel work

"I didn't realize that you had such blue eyes," Macy smiled; Emmett and Rosalie looked as well.

"I hadn't realized for a long time as well." Carlisle agreed. Rosalie was still as attractive before so apparently Macy's new venom really hadn't interred with that at all.

It wasn't long until Rosalie and Emmett excused themselves and it was evident that were going home to try for a baby. It was overwhelmingly evident to Carlisle, when he looked over at Macy, that he was seeing her with fresh eyes, and a fresh heart and although at the beginning he was about to walk away, he felt himself draw closer to her, his arms outstretched and his hands in the air, feeling her warmth as she took them. Pulling her close to her his chest he rested his chin in her head and ran his hands through her hair. Silent they walked back to the room. Carlisle pulled the covers back and slipped under, feeling Macy draw closer to him; and for the first time in 300 years, felt sleep, actual sleep overpower him, and not some stupid coma…Things were going to be different from now on and he had to accept that, but he looked forward to future challenges this union may- _**will **_bring. And he was not anxious, and he was not scared, Carlisle simply, was.

In all of his time on this earth, Carlisle had transitioned through the decades, feeling more and more out of place, adapting to our lifestyles, our changes, our modes of speak and after all of that. And suddenly, if was as if all of the tensions had never existed, all of the depression and uncertainty had never transpired within him, as if it all had been washed from his being; and suddenly he now found himself in some sort of freedom that he couldn't explain but merely felt all around him, as if someone had injected him with medicine that happened to be the cure, enveloping him in some strange static.

_Aha ha._

_I'll be your doctor, I'll be your cure._

_I'll be your medicine and more_

_(I'll be your...)_

_Yes you can rest assure, I'm your _

_doctor, I'm your cure_

_I'll be your cure..._


End file.
